For many single parents, dating simply does not
seem like an option. There are few enough hours
in the day without finding time for first
dates, and what if your new lover and your kids
can't stand each other? It may seem easier just
not to bother.
But if you want to find love, don't put it off
until the kids are grown. We all deserve
genuine happiness; if romance is what you want,
follow the dating advice in this article and
start your quest to find it.
Where to Look
There's no denying that some people will be put
off by you having children. They are not right
for you, so don't waste your time trying to
change their mind. You deserve someone who
adores you, kids and all.
Single parents can look for love in all the
usual places but if you don't have the time to
go to bars or join evening classes, find a date
online. Alongside the standard dating sites,
several internet services now specialize in
matchmaking for people with kids.
Sign your children up for some extra-curricular
activities. Single parent families are
increasingly common these days, so get chatting
to the other moms and dads before and after the
classes and you could find yourself enjoying
coffee with that special, single someone.
Getting to know other single parents will be
invaluable when you do start dating.
Babysitters can be expensive, but new friends
in a similar position will be happy to take
turns giving one another a well deserved
Broaching the Subject
Your kids are a part of your life, so never try
to hide them. The first time you talk to
somebody new, casually drop your children into
the conversation by mentioning something funny
which your child said or did. You will be
pleasantly surprised by how many people take
this in their stride.
When it comes to dating, some parents choose to
keep everything a secret from their children
until the relationship is serious.
Increasingly, however, parents are opting to be
open with their kids. Don't introduce your
children to everyone you meet, but do consider
telling them you're going on dates - the more
they are aware that you're meeting new people,
the less threatened they will feel when you
bring your partner home.
Introduce your kids to your new partner slowly.
Start with a relaxed trip to the park or an
evening of watching movies together, but think
carefully before asking your partner to stay
the night. It may be unsettling for your kids
to wake up and find a virtual stranger in their
house so wait until they're more used to him or
Talk to your partner about your expectations.
In the early days, the emphasis should be on
becoming friendly with your kids, not on
becoming their new parent. If you don't think
it's appropriate for him or her to discipline
them, say so.
Warn them to expect jealousy. Your kids are
used to having you to themselves and may feel
that it would be disloyal to their other parent
to be too welcoming. Expect small children to
become clingy and teenagers to be quite rude.
With time and patience, it will improve.
Your kids are the center of your world, but you
should never feel guilty about wanting a little
more. Take all the dating advice you can get,
keep the early days casual, but do get out and
get dating again. Everyone needs affection,
attention and adult conversation, so if you
would like a little romance, don't let being a
parent stop you.
Rick Freedom is an aspiring author and
entrepreneur whose interests include
communication, human relationships, love,
dating and philosophy. If you liked what you
read, check out
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