If you're entering into a long distance
relationship, you're not alone. In these days
of global economy, getting our dream job often
mean moving to a new city or a foreign country,
and with the ever increasing popularity of
internet dating, more and more of us are
falling for people from afar.
But, with long distance relationships being
notorious for their difficulties, how do you go
about keeping the spark alive when you're
hundreds of miles apart?
Start by establishing that this is definitely
what you want to do. Are you serious enough
about this person to deal with the ups and
downs of long distance dating, or does moving
out of state seem like an easy way of shifting
them out of your life?
If you're ready to go ahead, it's time to have
a serious discussion with your other half. A
long distance relationship can put all sorts of
stresses and strains on your partnership, so
prepare yourselves by talking potential
It has never been easier to stay in touch, so
make the most of all the options available to
you. Speak on the phone, send soppy, unexpected
emails and write letters to keep yourselves
With your partner miles away, your friends have
never been more important, so make sure that
neither of you neglects your social life in
favor of making phone calls. Instead, accept
that you won't be able to talk every single
evening, then decide how often you do need to
hear one another's voice.
Agree that you will both make the effort to
stay in touch. If one of you seems to be making
all the phone calls, resentment is likely to
For some, living in different cities implies a
certain amount of sexual freedom; for others,
no amount of distance justifies playing away.
Don't simply assume you feel the same way about
fidelity - check.
When living so far apart, trust is absolutely
vital. When you're less able to see what your
partner is doing, you may find yourself
imagining the worst. Minimize doubts by
becoming extra reliable - always call when you
say you will, and always let them know if
they're not going to be able to contact you at
the usual times.
Keep the frisson alive between you by sending
suggestive text messages and trying your hand
at phone sex.
When you see so little of each other, those
weekends when you can be together take on
enormous significance. But do accept that not
every meeting will be magical. There will be
times when one of you is tired, stressed or
ill, or when you've simply built your
expectations up to an unattainable level.
Prepare for this before you part and you will
be better able to accept it and discuss it when
If you find that every meeting ends with an
argument, ask yourself whether this is your (or
their) way of making parting less painful.
Make it Work
A long distance relationship is rarely easy,
but if you truly love each other, it can be
worth the effort. Be open and honest with one
another, prepare for the tough times and
celebrate the good. Focus on that date in the
not too distant future when you will be
together again, and appreciate the love that
you have built thus far.
Rick Freedom is an aspiring author and
entrepreneur whose interests include
communication, human relationships, love,
dating and philosophy. If you liked what you
read, check out
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